o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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