I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
