We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
