It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
