I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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