last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
