worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
