Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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