I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
