Nicole vs. Life
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I need moral support for this bender
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
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