Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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