Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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