Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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