i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
