Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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