You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
