I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
