how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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