Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
