Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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