I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
