Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
