Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're a waste of cheezeits
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
