Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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