omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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