I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
