rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
