cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
