Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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