I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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