i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
