So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
