When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
