I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
