She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
