At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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