Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
