Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This baby is an asshole
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
