you guys were way drunker than both of me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
