Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
