You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If I die, sorry about rent.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
