I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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