Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize