yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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