It's Friday. Sex?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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