So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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