I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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