WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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