i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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