I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
