marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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